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| -rw-r--r-- | sql/updates/world/2015_04_06_01_world_f335.sql | 114 |
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diff --git a/sql/updates/world/2015_04_06_01_world_f335.sql b/sql/updates/world/2015_04_06_01_world_f335.sql new file mode 100644 index 00000000000..2b82c2e3210 --- /dev/null +++ b/sql/updates/world/2015_04_06_01_world_f335.sql @@ -0,0 +1,114 @@ +DELETE FROM `page_text` WHERE `entry` IN (3587, 3588, 3589, 3590, 3591, 3592, 3593, 3581, 3582, 3584, 3585, 3586, 3583); +INSERT INTO `page_text` (`entry`, `Text`, `next_page`, `VerifiedBuild`) VALUES +(3587, 'How to date a Dwarven woman: + +1. Ask her to buy you a drink.', 0, 19831), -- 3587 +(3588, 'Let''s be honest. Since the end of the Third War, Night Elf girls have heard it all. In fact, they''d already heard it all long before you or I was born. + +If you want to engage the mind of a Night Elf girl, you''re going to have to stand out. Sure, we''ve all heard the tales of Night Elf lasses dancing on mailboxes and stripping to pay for Nightsaber training. True or not, if you want to light that lovely lady''s lips up with a smile, you gotta be unique, memorable and confident. + +Start off by showing that you''re looking for more than a gal with looks. Sure, she can bounce, she can dance, but can she hold a decent conversation? Does she even understand the proper use of a samophlange? Does she know how to have a fun time? + +There''s nothing worse than bringing a Night Elf to a party, only to watch her stand awkwardly by herself, breaking conversation only to lament the loss of her Highborne sister during the War of the Ancients.', 0, 19831), -- 3588 +(3589, 'There''s nothing like wooing the heart of a human girl. Infinitely forgiving, endlessly caring and fantastically fun, human girls have been the downfall of countless heroes throughout the ages. (See Chapter 3: "Jaina Proudmoore and the men who loved her") + +However, generation after generation has proven it takes something more than just money, looks or an epic suit of armor to attract the woman of your dreams. Not even the power of Gnomish invention can help you here. + +To truly charm the heart of another, you should possess these qualities. + +* Be Fun & Friendly +* Be a Challenge +* Be a Man + +', 3590, 19831), -- 3589 +(3590, 'Be Fun & Friendly + +Ever have at friend who shows up at your house and brings everybody down? Yep. Everyone does. Does he get invited back to the parties? Not unless he''s bringing the ale. If you want to be an attractive person, live an attractive lifestyle. + +You''ll find that the more you enjoy socializing with others, the more they will enjoy socializing with you! + +There''s no faster way to ruin a girl''s night than bringing in that needy, apologetic vibe. Let it go, embrace the fun and your confidence will soar.', 3591, 19831), -- 3590 +(3591, 'Be a Challenge + +Too many Gnomes these days walk with their head slung low, shuffling along sadly from tavern to tavern, hopelessly holding on these limiting beliefs that no human girl would ever want them. They rush into the tavern, shower her with compliments and free drinks, then go home dejected. + +Well, let me be the first to tell you, friend, when you give your self away so cheaply, you diminsh the value of your unique, exquisite personality. You''ve been told by society that you are not the prize, that women will never acknowledge you, that you must beg for love and attention. + +They are wrong. Don''t give your affection away so freely. Instead of asking yourself, "Does she like me?" ask yourself instead, "Do I like her?" + +Challenge her - show her you''re looking for a girl who offers more than a pretty face. If she can''t keep up with your life, move on. If she shows she''s got something to offer, you''re at the beginning of a beautiful thing. ', 3592, 19831), -- 3591 +(3592, 'Be a Man + +In an age where we''ve been banished from our homes, forced to fight for our very survival and faced down horrors never before known to Azeroth, you would think that the nature of manhood would be better understood. + +Sadly, the art of masculinity has been lost, washed away in the glitz and glamor of battle. However, all is not lost! With practice and confidence, you can come back in touch with yourself. + +Once you''ve met the human girl of your dreams and she''s shown herself to be worthy of your affections: + +* Take the lead - show her everything that is beautiful about your world +* Hold her hand - develop a close, affectionate relationship +* Show respect - for yourself, for her and for the world around you + +Above all: + +* Be responsible +', 3593, 19831), -- 3592 +(3593, 'Troubleshooting + +While everything doesn''t always go the way you expect, that''s what make life unpredictable and exciting. However, there''s a few tips to help you a long way in improving your life. Here''s some common blunders: + +* Don''t chase +* Don''t be needy +* Don''t get stuck on someone who dislikes you + +These all stem from a core belief that women you must have the woman you''re talking to right now. Break free - there''s many women out there in this beautiful world and if one doesn''t work out, let go. You''ll find you become more attractive the less clingy you are. +', 0, 19831), -- 3593 +(3581, '"Roleplaying" + +Good roleplaying skills are essential. No Genius Gnomish gal wants a giant bore. Regale her with tales of your future cross-continental adventures: + + "You and me, babe, we''re gonna fly to Kalimdor, etch our names into the side of Teldrassil and spend the rest of our lives swinging from the trees in Un''goro Crater." + +"Storytelling" + +Share stores of your exciting future together! The more implausible, the better. Nothing gets a Gnomish girl excited like an ambitious plan. It also makes for great conversation starters! + + "With our brilliant minds combined, we could retake Gnomeregan. ... why haven''t we retaken Gnomeregan anyways?"', 3582, 19831), -- 3581 +(3582, '"Teasing" + +Teasing is the art of making fun of a woman in a humorous way. Be careful, you can easily go too far. Calling her a "Goblin Ganking Gnat" will leave you walking home wearing that Green Gordok Grog you just bought. Try something a bit more subtle. + +If she acts childish and refuses to stop jumping onto tables in the middle of the bar try: + +"I hear there''s an opening for star entertainer at the Stormwind orphanage." + +If she won''t stop talking about herself playfully try: + +"Where''s your off switch?" + +IMPORTANT NOTE: Gnomish girls do NOT have an off switch. Attempting to find it may result in the loss of life, limbs or wallet.', 0, 19831), -- 3582 +(3584, 'I''d just arrived off the boat to Azuremyst when I stopped a group of Draenei dames around the ripe young age of 230. They were laughing and having a great time. What luck, still on the docks and I''d found exactly the type of fun, energetic Draenei women I wanted to meet on this trip. + +At first a bit anxious, I breathed deeply and reminded myself, "they too are here in Azeroth on vacation, looking to meet new people and have a great time." + +Sure enough, they were delighted to see one devilishly charming Gnome like myself in the Exodar. It even turned out we were both staying near the Vault of Lights. We exchanged deep, penetrating glances into each others eyes, promising to meet again near A''dal later that night. ', 3585, 19831), -- 3584 +(3585, 'The next day, I met another beautiful Draenei woman - the gleam of her horns gave only the gentlest of glimpses into her refined tastes. I asked why she was visiting the Exodar, when in shock, she told me she wasn''t visiting - she lived here. + +The words I spoke to myself before returned to my mind: + +"She is on vacation, looking to meet amazing people and have a great time." + +I had it all wrong, she wasn''t on vacation at all! Then suddenly, the grinding gears of my mind clicked: I''d been claiming to myself that they were so receptive because they were on vacation. What a gnollish excuse! + +I''m a fun, interesting guy who any sensible minded girl would love to group with, on vacation or not! Now when I meet Draenei girls, I remind myself of the simple truth: + +"She too is looking to meet people and have a great time."', 3586, 19831), -- 3585 +(3586, 'The following 497 pages of this dictionary consistent entirely of oddly angled pictures taken from a Super Snapper FX 2000. ', 0, 19831), -- 3586 +(3583, 'Are your tastes more exotic? +Do you desire someone a little out of this world? +Are hooves your thing, but succubi a little too much for you? + +Read on, my friend...', 3584, 19831); -- 3583 + +UPDATE `smart_scripts` SET `link`=0 WHERE `entryorguid` IN(20349,20345,20346,20347,20348) AND `source_type`=0 AND `id`=0 AND `link`=1; +UPDATE `smart_scripts` SET `link`=0 WHERE `entryorguid`=4498 AND `source_type`=2 AND `id`=4 AND `link`=5; |